The SpongeBob Parody Presents The Asterisk War
by ErikaAmagiri
Summary: Greetings, folks! This is the Asterisk War on HERO TV & SpongeBob SquarePants on Nickelodeon! Let's see how girls get portrayed by Male SBSP Characters & boys by Female SBSP Characters.


_Hello, folks! This is the SpongeBob Parody Presents, Imitation Camilla Pareto._

**Irene creates an android/cyborg version of Camilla once when she tried to obtain the secret formula.**

"Ah, the Candy Kingdom. Place of Sugar Rush with its top secret formula, known only to those who are brave enough and intelligent enough to comprehend its culinary complexity." said Frenchie The French Narrator.

"Look, Ms. Pareto. I'm doing it, I'm doing it!" said Flora balancing a spatula on top of her head behind the register.

"Quit fooling around, Flora, we got customers." said Camilla.

"But wherever there's a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it." said Frenchie.

Irene laughs evilly while standing in the white wig of Inner Moka. She puts Inner Moka wig in her head. "Oops! And now for the final touch. Perfect! With this disguise, that formula is as good as mine." Irene sees herself in a mirror disguised as Inner Moka if she wears Moka's Yokai Academy Uniform if she laughs then walks herself into the Candy Kingdom.

"Are you Flora Klemm?" Irene disguised as Inner Moka said to Flora looking in a mirror. "Why, yes. Yes I am." said Flora.

"Then you've just won ¥1,000,000! You just have to answer one question. What is the Candy secret formula?" said Irene disguised as Inner Moka to show Flora a ¥1,000,000 if Flora starts inhaling if Irene disguised as Inner Moka keeps saying 'yes'.

"The Candy formula is the sole property of the Candy Kingdom and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with its creator, Camilla Pareto. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary." said Flora rapidly fast when she smiles Irene gets angry if she removes an Inner Moka wig revealing herself.

"That's it?! You'd better cough up that secret formula or else!" said Irene to Flora when Camilla start saying Irene's name while Irene starts saying Camilla's name when Flora says her own name, but Camilla grabs Irene & an Angry Birds' slingshot, then puts her in the string of a wooden slingshot.

"You can't do this to me, Camilla Pareto! **_I went to college_**! Ouch." said Irene if Camilla shoots Irene to the magic mirror then Irene crashes into the Fire Kingdom.

"That Irene is a rude slut. You've got to keep a sharp eye out for her, Flora. The Candies law must be enforced. The future of the Candy Kingdom depends on it." said Camilla.

"Don't worry, Ms. Pareto, as long as this dress is a Maid, _& _this cute is Loli, I will not let you down!" exclaim Flora lifting her arms up.

"Uh, Flora, Could you let me down?" said Camilla.

**Next Scene**

""Man, these cupcakes sure are delicious. I wonder what's in that secret formula." said Outer Moka Akashiya disguised by Li Shenhua when siren goes off. Flora slides down the candy-striped pole.

"Code twelve, code twelve! Your disguises can't fool me this time, Irene Urzaiz!" exclaimed Flora bounces off a huge pink jelly and grabs the Moka's pink hair. Flora pulls the pink hair off to reveal a Shenhua on the customer; all Candy People gasp.

"Everyone at the head enhancement clinic said nobody would notice!" said Shenhua if she runs off crying.

"Flora! You're scaring away my money!" said Camilla.

"Sorry, Ms. Pareto, I was just trying to protect the secret formula." said Flora.

"That's no reason to rip other people's heads off, lass. Just remember the most important rule." said Camilla.

"No free napkins?" said Flora.

"No! the other most important rule. Regarding the secret formula." said Camilla.

"Only discuss the formula with Ms. Pareto." said Flora.

"As long as you do that, the secret is safe." said Camilla.

"I always thought the most important rule was 'why do today what you can put off 'till tomorrow?'" said Ernesta if she chuckles.

"What is today, but yesterday's tomorrow?" said Camilla.

"Huh?" said Ernesta.

**Next Scene to Ernesta & Camilla ****in a storage room of the Candy Kingdom.**

"Today, I want you to take inventory on everything in here; every last pickle and patty must be accounted for." said Camilla.

"Aye aye, Madam. 2 boxes of Cupcakes. Three pounds of Candies." said Ernesta walking over to the stock, red glowing eyes of android version of Camilla Pareto appear; Ernesta writes something on a Handy Dandy Notebook from Blue's Clues.

"_Ms. Ernesta..._" said the Android with Irene's voice to Ernesta writing on a Handy Dandy Notebook.

"What now, Camilla?" said Ernesta.

"_That's right, I am Camilla Pareto._" said an Android with Irene's voice.

"Your girlfriend, your empress, your partner!" said Irene to Ernesta on the screen if she laughs evilly.

"_Ha, ha, ha._" an Imitation Camilla laughs with Irene's voice.

"You're not Camilla Pareto." said Ernesta that robot is not her girlfriend, Camilla.

"_Hey, why don't you take the rest of the day off?_" said an Imitation Camilla laughs in Irene's voice if Ernesta chuckles.

"Well... whatever you say, 'Camilla'. Whoopee!" said Ernesta then laughs & runs out as Flora walks in.

"Hi, Ms. Pareto." said Flora.

"Oh, sweet domination. This is it!" said Irene.

"No sign of Irene, yet. Gosh, Ms. Pareto. You don't look so good. Ooh, you're so hot." said Flora touching an Imitation Camilla's body then she knocks on her outfit.

"_That's just my robot of Arlequint. I made it to protect the formula._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"Flora! Flora!" said Camilla's voice.

"It's that thick-headed dark-skinned blonde woman. She'll ruin everything." said an angry Irene.

"_Look, a Pikachu._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"I got it, I got it. I got it, I got it." said Flora repeatedly when Irene presses the "Abort" button from the Controller. When she does, Imitation Camilla shrinks into a pink toaster if Camilla enters.

"Flora!" exclaim Camilla when Flora stops and looks at the toaster, which releases its toast, then looks at Camilla.

"Hey, Ms. Pareto what happened to your metal skirt?" said Flora.

"Don't get all loopy on me, lass. I need your help. And where in the high sweets is Ernesta?" said Camilla.

"You gave her the day off." said Flora if Camilla pupils shrink then said. "Day...**OOOOOOOOOFF?!**"

Camilla bellows if she is so angry that she makes steams come out of the windows.

"I don't know the meaning of them horrible words! Now quit your laying around, Flora, and take out that garbage! It's starting to give me a rash." said Camilla when she exits.

"Yes, ma'am, Ms. Pareto, ma'am!" said Flora if she puts her mask cover her mouth & nose and is going to take the trash out, but Imitation Camilla stops her. "Hey, Ms. Pareto, just taking out that garbage." said Flora to give Imitation Camilla.

"_Never mind that. I need to talk to you._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice taking the trash bag and vaporizes it with her laser eyes.

"Whoa-ho, Ms. Pareto. I didn't know you had heat vision." said Flora.

"_Never mind. I need you to tell me...Yoinks!_" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice if she runs off.

"Flora! Flora, I'm not paying you to stand around. Get back to the kitchen!" said Camilla if she gives her a gingerbread cookie spatula.

"But I thought you wanted to ask me a question." said Flora.

"Yes... why aren't you working harder?" said Camilla.

"I don't know, Ms. Pareto... I don't know." said Flora if both she & Camilla walk out.

"I'll never get that formula with that pest dark-skinned blonde woman popping in and out like that. I've got it! I've been saving this for a rainy day. I've got it! I've been saving this for a rainy day. It looks like an ordinary chocolate coin... because it _is_ an ordinary chocolate! That foolish woman is too greedy to ignore you, my little pretty." said Irene holding up a chocolate coin if she laughs evilly. The chocolate coin pops out of the stomach and rolls around into Peppermint Maid's office.

"That sound, it sounds like...the pitter-patter of...money! Hey, where you going, beautiful?" said Camilla seeing a chocolate coin then squeals. Flora knocks on a gingerbread door, the chocolate coin slides out of the office, Camilla busts down the door on top of Flora saying her name 'Camilla'.

"Stop! Please! Wait!" exclaim Camilla chasing the chocolate coin slides between the crack of the doors and rolls away with Camilla running after it, but the Imitation Camilla is hiding behind the Candy Kingdom's tower.

"_Nothing stands between me and that secret formula now._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice to snap off some of the Candy Kingdom's tower. As she laughs evilly, the tower falls on top of her. "_Ow._"

**Next Scene**

Flora rubs a floor of the Candy Kingdom Indoor with bubbles. "Scrub-a-dub-dub, I love to rub. Hey, Ms. Pareto, just doing a little scrubbing." said Flora if an Imitation Camilla rolls by.

"_Hello, Flora, it is I, Camilla Pareto. __In the flesh. Standing right in front of you. With no one else around._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"I can see that, Ms. Pareto." said Flora.

"_I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice if a microphone comes out of her.

"Isn't that a microphone?" said Flora.

"_What? Why, yes it is. I __must get this shirt cleaned. Alright, now tell me the secret formula._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice putting a microphone back inside her stomach.

"But, ma'am, we haven't done the secret handshake yet." said Flora.

"_Oh yes. Here, let's shake._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice if Flora laughs.

"We don't shake with our hands, remember?" said Flora.

"_Uh, right, why don't you start?_" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"We stand on 1 foot. Balance a glass of strawberry milk on our heads and sing the Candy Kingdom National Anthem." said Flora when she & an Imitation Camilla start singing 'Candy Kingdom National Anthem'.

**_~Oh, Candy Kingdom, we pledge our hearts to you, As faithful, as sweet, as true, as rainbow, Candy Kingdom, we love you!~_**

"_Formula time?_" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"Almost." said Flora.

**六時間半後 ****(6****½****Hours Later written in Kanji)**

Irene grunts frantically as she gets an Imitation Camilla into a cannon which spits her out, through a flame ring, and onto a chair at a table. She eats a blueberry-flavored cake in her mouth.

"Yum yum, this blueberry-flavored cake sure is good. Belch!" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"_**Blueberry. Blueberry. Cake underneath. Vanilla. Vanilla. Great Barrier Reef.**_" they both said in unison if they clap.

"_Okay, now let's hear that formula._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"Sorry, no can do, Ms. Pareto." said Flora.

"_**Whaaaaaaaaaat?!**_" exclaimed an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice. exploding in rage.

"But we did everything you said- I followed all the rules! I even ate 105 black licorice jellybeans through a straw!" exclaimed an angry Irene.

"_Now why can't you tell me the formula?_" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

" It's your rule. Never speak the formula. You told me to keep it in...this bottle." said Flora holding up a bottle with a piece of paper in it if an Imitation Camilla opens her eyes, Irene is overly excited and tense. But pushes on a lever that makes an Android Camilla's arm stretch out more.

"This is it, Irene. Gently, now..." said Irene if a chocolate coin rolls through the door and Camilla comes in. Everyone gasps, including the number on the chocolate coin if Irene's voice said 'gasp'.

"How could you do this, Flora? Giving me secret formula to this impostor?!" said the real Camilla.

"_Don't listen to her, Flora. Remember: Vanilla, vanilla, give me the vanilla._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"Flora, no! Don't listen to her. I'm the **real** Camilla Pareto." said the real Camilla.

"_Don't listen to her. She's obviously an android._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice.

"Well, if I was an android, which I'm not, at least I'm well put together. Not some rusted-out, steam-driven piece of junk!" said the real Camilla.

"_Who are you calling steam-driven...?_" Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice if 2 Camillas stopped then unable to handle the pressure, explodes in frustration, Flora is holding a big hose in her hands, it is soon revealed that the hose is attached to a huge chocolate machine.

"PIPE DOWN! Until I know who the real Ms. Camilla Pareto is, nobody moves, nobody gets hurt." exclaimed Flora.

"_**Chocolate?!**_" said 2 Camillas.

"Take it easy with that thing, girl." said the real Camilla when Flora squirts some chocolate at Camilla causing her to jump into Imitation Camilla's arms

"I'll do the talking around here. I think I'll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Ms. Camilla Pareto could answer." said Flora.

"Okay, then." said the human Camilla.

"1st Question: What time does the Candy Kingdom open?" said Flora.

"7 _AM._" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice beating the real Camilla to it.

"Right. That's one strike, Ms. Fake." said Flora to the human Camilla.

"But..." said the human Camilla.

"Nuh-uh-uh! I'm running this quiz show, I'll ask the questions. If there's gonna be any 'buts,' they're gonna be from me. Okay, question number two: How much does a Cake bake?" said Flora

"¥2.99!" exclaim the human Camilla.

"On Wednesday..." said Flora.

"_100¢!_" said an Imitation Camilla with Irene's voice**.**

"Right again! You're starting to look pretty phony right about now. I'd be nervous if I were you. Now only the really real Ms. Camilla Pareto could answer this — If we're discussing the secret formula on the third Wednesday in December and it's not snowing outside after we've gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?" Flora said to the human Camilla.

"That's an easy one. You just...just... let's see... if its..uh.. if it's December... with...with vanilla pudding...you...uh...pass?" said the human Camilla if she gets out of the Candy Kingdom with chocolate into a fry basket by Flora.

"Wait, Flora! Give me another chance! **_No!_**" exclaimed Camilla if Flora rolls away in the giant pink wagon with sweets.

"So long, Imitation Camilla Pareto! Adieu! I knew it was you all along, Ms. Pareto, here you go." said Flora walking back inside if she holds up the formula bottle.

"_Thank you, Flow-La._" said an Android Camilla grabbing the bottle and laughs mechanically. Flora sees a chocolate coin on the floor when she says 'yoink'.

"Oops! Don't forget your lucky chocolate coin. This must be your lucky day." said Flora puts the penny inside a slot on Imitation Krabs that is labeled 'Self-Destruct: 1 cent' when Flora laughs.

"The self-destruct coin slot has been activated. 10 seconds 'til detonation." said AR-D's voice.

"Coin-operated self-destruct? Not one of my better ideas. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP! Ouch!" said Irene if she screams as she wheels back to the Fire Kingdom from the magic mirror but explodes when she gets inside. The huge magma rock thuds on top of her if the formula bottle rolls back to Flora picking it, realizing her mistake if she runs to Camilla, who is still in the giant pink wagon with sweets using a fry to fight off the Red Dragon from Shrek Movies who has a tail.

"If that was Irene Urzaiz... Uh-oh!" exclaim Flora if she gasps. "Ms. Pareto!"

"Help! Get Away! No! Back, you hungry dragon, back! Help!" exclaimed Camilla if Flora wheels her back to the Candy Kingdom safely.

"Gee, Ms. Pareto. I'm sorry. I thought you were a phony." said Flora

"Phew, that's okay, me lass. Long as the secret formula's safe again. However, that penny's coming out of your paycheck." said Camilla taking a bottle when she & Flora both laugh.

"Really?" said Flora.

_That was close, and so __once again, the __day __is saved __thanks to The Asterisk War X SpongeBob SquarePants!_


End file.
